Dear 2018 (GOALS)

This 2018 I will, if not I will try my best to:

I decided to make a personal change from the inside. Setting a goal to be fit, to eat healthy, to start a new sport and whatnot is not I’m after to this year. What is a healthy body if I’m mentally and emotionally ill. In able for me to focus on such goals, healing from the inside is the way to start.

Love myself reasonably. I don’t want to love myself and end up being selfish but I know I still need to remain some for myself, or I’ll end up breaking. Personally, I’ve been struggling with this issue myself recently and I don’t want it to devour me entirely affecting my future and well-being.

To not be afraid to try new things and explore. 2016 and 2017 I have caged myself inside the house or just stayed around the area because I have responsibilities for my growing baby but as she grows up, I could sneak in some time to go out of town or country with friends and family! My goal is to have some bel time at least once per month.

To never give up on him and any of my loved ones thru the brightest and darkest of days. It sounds cliche but every now an then, I nees to remind myself this before saying anything coz I’m a little impulsive and I say stuff basing on my current emotions and tend to forget how it could affect my relationship with that person. I will go side by side and endure the pain it comes along with.

To use my overthinking mind in a positive way and turn even the pessimistic stuff into something productive and healthy for the soul. To be different from all odds and learn to think with sense and maturity.

To not let a bad day get me. A bad day shouldn’t affect me because whatever my mood is will reflect to not just me but to my baby and family.

To start drinking teas because they make me calm and loved in a way.

To breathe once in a while. Its ok to get some air sometimes, to make mistakes and cry. I need to remember I am still human and I can’t always be a perfect mom and wife even if I try to.

To give space to my husband. I tend to be so clingy and needy to him. Well he doesn’t know most of it because I try to restrict it with pride but truthfully, I want to be with him all the time. I need to teach my brain to have a break for a while from him in order for me to breathe and not hurt when rejected.

Aim for 100. Not 99 or even 99.99. I’m not saying I should be perfectionist but I should aim higher and never settle to something lower than it because I know I won’t strive more if I just set my standard low.

To think before I speak and think before I do something drastically. Every decision will lead to something either bad or good and I should always consider other people not just myself and the long term outcomes of my action.

To sleep early and get enough sleep as much as I can.

To show feelings. To cry if I need to cry and confront instead of enduring that always lead to misunderstandings.

To not regret anything that had and will happen in the future. I should make the best out of it and go towards positivity rather than the opposite.

Be open to people. Be open to changes and challenges. I’ve closed myself the whole 2017 but 2018 I’ll try to reach and make groups with people who are mature enough and are less stressful to start with. But I learnt to not be kind all the time and put some guards up to avoid disappointments.

As a whole, my goal is to be a better and be a responsible person without harming anyone with intentions or not. I know its not practical to set a goal just because its the start of the year but its a good way to also track my behaviour extending to the years to come. Changing for good is not overnight. I hope you also have a set of goals for yourself and what I’ve written have encouraged you to do better as well. Not all may apply to you but be creative and stay true!

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