This is a decision I didn’t just have now. It has been going on for 2 years in exact. If you know me and have been following me in Instagram, you probably know that I’ve been keeping my account on and off public and been deactivating it several times. But a few days ago, I had enough and just decided to finally shut down my personal Instagram. As of now I have indefinite time frame until when will I not use it or if I’ll just start from scratch and totally just make a new one making sure it is safe.
Before anything else, I would like for my dear readers to respect my decision. I am not saying that everything I say happens to everyone. You decide if you could relate or not but I’m just sharing my personal experience. Please don’t judge me. Thank you!
1. Instagram made me compare my life to others
I admit that I have been so obsessed with it. I found myself distracted most of the time and I know its not healthy. It was fun posting and looking at feeds but don’t you agree that it sometimes become to toxic? Toxic that you become jealous and just want to be someone you see. Instagram for me became a daily newspaper where I get update from people. It’s like an entertainment page that keeps you on the whole day. You follow who you want to follow and look at what you want to look but sometimes it gets overhand.
You see, Instagram lately became a BRAGGING PLACE. You go here, eat here, wear this, look this good ETC. And it becomes a chain
2. Instagram made me dependent on others how I will love myself
Hate to admit it but yes, somehow Instagram affected me on multiple levels how I will distinguish myself. I don’t want to say I’m weak and I got easily affected but it’s a factor that made it worse. If post a photo and it doesn’t reach a certain amount I might be thinking twice and receiving much like made thought maybe I was liked more. But the truth is, they just like the photos not you coz they don’t really know you entirely from your account.
3. Instagram is not a safe place
I have so many reasons why I needed to stop. So many that it only didn’t affected me but the people around me including my family. I became desperate for attention thinking maybe I could find people who’ll care for me there but no one really cared.
My husband was trying to warn me since day 1 to stop the social media coz it’s not healthy. It could also be an unsafe place for us. I will not disclose specifically why we are trying to be so private but to keep it short, my husband want our family to be totally normal and safe from all the dangers. My consecutive posts and unsafe posting made a mess and I was responsible for that action. I thought social media like Instagram is nothing but you never know who really adds you even if you’re in private account. People can make fake accounts and ace it, looking like it’s legit.
I figured to shut my account to make thing unsearchable and clean. I’d rather not have my feed history than to sacrifice our safety.
4. Instagram people will like you base on what you post
I didn’t get much attention before I revealed my birth to Stella. That’s when people started to care. But to be honest, when I was pregnant most people backstabbed me. Spreading rumours and hurtful stuff that’s why I hid my whole pregnancy to everyone. At first, I liked how people seem to adore my baby and admire my weight loss even my bonding with her. But I wasn’t sure anymore if people are just there to talk to me and be nice just to know something about me and not genuinely be like a friend.
I started to be a sponge. All of a sudden people who got pregnant like me before getting married fed me with their problems. Well, I’m open to listen and give advises but it’s disheartening thinking how much someone has shared so much to me and exclude me still. The feeling of used. That’s why I recently, I’ve been very selective to people I talk.
5. I post for likes
I ended up wanting to post anything INSTAGRAMMABLE. It became annoying already to others. Sometimes I tend to forget the real stuff. Enjoy the the food warm, enjoy the surroundings, maximize time with my loved ones.
I don’t really know if I will really delete my account or if until when will I not use Instagram. But I want to take this time to appreciate my time with my daughter and keep my life private. Reflect on a lot of things and start a new life focusing on positive things and avoiding anything that could cause stress.